the J Blog

It has been said, “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” This claim raises several questioning eyebrows because in truth, the conditions for an apology strictly depend on the situation that necessitated the apology as well as the persons involved. Although, in keeping with the essence of the saying, one must not give excuses when offering an apology. What one should give instead is an explanation. This is extremely important if one really intends to patch up the relationship. If only a ‘bare’ apology is offered-one not backed up by any clarification whatsoever- a certain amount of doubt still hangs in the air. Some questions may be left unanswered and some hidden wounds remain un-soothed.

In direct contrast to the mentioned saying which brings about a considerable number of uncertainties, this can be said about apologies without a trace of doubt: “Never ruin an apology with insincerity.” Do not even bother to bid your request for forgiveness if you do not mean it. If you are not truly sorry, do not claim to be so. When you find that you can not yet offer your apologies, it would be better to simply get out of the person’s way and face up to the situation only when you are ready to apologize.

Some people feel obliged to apologize because other people are urging them or because circumstances push them into doing it in order not to suffer some consequences. They grudgingly go through it only to find out that the torment of an insincere apology mistakenly believed and accepted by the second party is a greater pain that eats them up inside.